somebody told me 2 write some notes n post it here....so dat it'll be my first path 2 be a writer sooner or later.... after 24 years i spend time observe people, experience those happy and hard moments, sharing a various kind of mine n others probs....holding all d tittle a woman shud have, a daughter, a sister, da' eldest daughter, a teenager, a student, a BFF, a teacher, a counselor, a wife and a career mother eventually i supposed 2 be in d group of adult... it's early but it was written up there... so here i am... wanna share a lot of thing about love story, marrriage life, a challenge of being mother, a survival, and lots of unpredictable things u shud never imagine it gonna happen in ur life.... where shud i start? i still dunno but as my concern so much frens out there now are looking forward 4 their mr and mrs right... for their husband n wife... good n wish u all the best luck in order 2 step on a new phase in human life circle....some of u maybe late, some of u might be earlier... some of u may follow on the flow, some of u may jump forward... some of u may juz wait like nothing shud be rush for... and may be some of u still in solving their puzzle... 4 me all things are puzzle.. life is a puzzle, love is a puzzle, as well as human.... every piece of puzzle has their own role 2 complete d whole...u cant simply put it here n there bcos it'll only suit its own place... some people got d easy one so everything shud be easy 2 settle, some people got d so so one and some people got a very tough one... for the instance, my life puzzle... who will i marry 2? my boyfriend or the stranger one i juz know 4 a couple of days? can i determine my own destiny? of cos not... bcos like i said earlier, it was written, d man in my life is d stranger i never imagine he was.. d characteristic dat i never list on my heart... but who knows me better? Allah is it? i try 2 believe it but i start 2 confuse....... why? 2 be continued..... chapter 2 talk about love never ends, talk about life never easy...trust me... u try make fun 2 ur life then everything gonna be worse...u can say ur life is happy...sufficient money, good job, high position, beautiful wife but ur wife cannot pregnant...n u spend a lot on it.... hundred thousand plus u spend 4 IVF n so on... but u never think y God still hold it on 4 u? bcos He think u r not ready 2 be parents... but u keep on look at d only one hole in ur ife...then u'll be suffer... am i rite? if u dunno how 2 be grateful then ur life get into trouble... there r such a lot of thing can be settle juz becos u practise this GRATEFUL attitude.... trust me wen i go shopping i spend a lot of money 4 unnecessary things... i cant buy a new fashion handbag ( in d meanwhile i got problem where 2 place all my bags)... so i start 2 think who n where can i get d money from... call my mom n tell her lies 2 buy books? cheat my husband dat my old bag is worn out or borrow d money from my friend? have u ever seen a university student go here and there juz bring a simple plastic bag or paper bag? 4 years she keeps on wearing the same bag n she never spell out a word about buying a new bag.... is she is so grateful 4 wut she has? hmmm.... if i can be like her, i am not too much 2 say dat now i am a millionaire... i loss so much juz becos i lack practise d GRATEFUL ATTITUDE>...... dat is d biggest mistake i do in my life about planning my financial and i still cant atone d mstake until now.... 2 be continued... chapter 3 now, almost all of my friends are packing their last luggage 2 step out d university life... all i can say they got such a weird feeling on it... some of them may be so happy 2 leave d chapter STUDENT n turn on a new leaf in their life book... so can i ask u wut's ur next chapter is? WIFE? WORKER? LOTUS EATER? or u still dunno yet wut will happen after this? or u still on doubt 2 leave it bcos u got so much memories n unfinish things in dat chapter... i told u guys, sincerely wen i step out from UPM d last day i went out 4 LMPK, i set up my mind already, i'm free now, i crave a colourful future where i can support my own life as well as i can test my power in working field... i thot dat my curse is over.... but wen i look back 4 years ago, wen v were still young, we dunno how 2 key in d subject, we hard 2 find our own class, we lost in d faculty, entered wrong class, misunderstood so much things, d moment we spend 2gether: sharing our love story, share d same bed and bathroom, cut our hair and owh i really feel sad (teary eyes @~@) i still can remember my early first semester, i pregnant 4 my second baby n during d orientation week i skip so many activities n i got d privelege 2 rest like a queen...ha3 some of u on dat time still dunno me... one time wen i was sitting in d musalla, i gotta know H... she's not feeling well on dat time, she got fever n cough with her bunch of medicine from PKU... ha3 dat's time so funny, we started 2 know each other, changing our love story and we thot dat we'd d chemistry 2 become best friend...and one thing i cant forget d rest of my life is wen we got into so much TROUBLE.. and we involved in wut we so called S_____L...uncountable s____... ha3 hi3 hu3.... i cant remember all their name but i'm sure none of u (my BFFs) will forget it...with my hard 2 describe marriage life i'm sure all of u will suprised why i cant survive until now..isnt it? why i still wait 4 my husband n why i decide 2 change myself instead of change his attitude on me...because i got undivided support from u guys... u turn me from nothing to something... 2 b continued chapter 4 lonely planet marriage is a lonely planet 4 me. no fun at all...i give my best but never get something back 2 me.. happy marriage always give n take...but my marriage only teach me how 2 give......it sounds unfair but i'd face it almost 6 years... here is a love poem 4 my beloved hubby... dear hubby, we married almost 6 years i dunno wen i love u i always know how 2 hate u u cause me a lot of trouble n turn my life more miserable hundred times a day i think of killing u but y until now u still alive? think of u is my pain being nice 2 me cause u migrain all my hard time ur always unseen my future with u can never be foreseen. wen i ask something, u said it too much wen u ask me, wah u want it so fast am i too sweet 2 chew like candy? many times i feel like u eat me alive.... but i start 2 realize, i got no future without u, my nite is so lonely wen u r not around, i care 4 u juz becoz i love u it's too much u will nvr imagine i know u'll nvr have time 2 shop wif me i know ur damn hot temper i know u'll lost conscious easily wen u mad at me i know u'll nvr say u love me i know u'll nvr call me darling in ur entire life but i dun care at all five years u treat me like dat i'd immune already.... 2 be continued chapter 5 Dilemma What is this feeling I have? I seem to love you but other times I seem to loathe you .. Sometimes i thot I can't be without you Or maybe just without anyone.... I think about you all the time. But i dunno why do I have this feeling?  I long for your voice and I would die to hear your laugh But is this love or merely lust? hehehe i dun hv idea wut i am saying.... help!!!!! it was my weakness...by time u broke down my wall, i'd built it so strong, never think it will fall....i try hard 2 fight these feelings cos i know it's not belong 2 me.... i'm so scared of wut i feel.. behind my wall i was crying inside, burried all the emotions i had... my wall fell down, these feelings i cant help... my wall crumbled from my weakness and i know it was so wrong.. i dunno how 2 fix it again...